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9 January 2019 - 6:52pm

The new small-town crime thread

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Due to request from sharpe, I'm bringing back my small town newspaper's crime reports, which feature some very light complaints.

Here's some of the new batch from late last month, and this month. More will be added moving forward.

10:09 p.m. -- A 30-year-old Homer Township man reported getting suspicious text messages from an unknown subject. There are currently no suspects, and the man blocked the phone number.

1:51 p.m. -- A deputy was dispatched to an Ingersoll Township residence to speak with a 59-year-old woman regarding a civil complaint. The woman was upset her 30-year-old son had withdrawn and spent $500 from his savings account. The 59-year-old said he was acting irresponsibly. The deputy informed the woman that this was not a crime.

10:11 p.m. -- A deputy responded to the Village of Sanford in reference to a suspicious situation. The deputy made contact with a 55-year-old Lee Township woman who reported that her car had a flat tire while she was at work. She was not sure if the tire had been punctured maliciously or not, but she wanted the event documented.

12:05 a.m. -- A deputy was dispatched to a Mount Haley Township residence for a request from an 81-year-old woman to have her late husband's medications disposed of. The deputy picked up the unused medication and properly discarded it at the Law Enforcement Center.

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10 January 2019 - 1:29am
#1

πŸ˜‚

Yet again I am sadly amazed at the sorts of mundane things that people seem to think require police attention. I'm imagining the cops sitting back at the station, sipping a coffee and munching a donut, thinking "yeah now THIS is why I joined the force... to document flat tyres and throw old medication into the bin".

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10 January 2019 - 5:39pm
#2

Yeah, talk about a total waste of resources when you can't throw your own pills in the trash and have to call the cops out in the middle of the night.

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10 January 2019 - 6:37pm
#3

Thanks for renewing the thread Slim...it's always hilarious even when it's about minor stuff...or maybe these are the most ridiculous(funny) ones...classic small-town report πŸ‘

Quote:

The deputy informed the woman that this was not a crime.

I wonder how withdrawing from your mom's account(and not your own) is not a crime though?

Quote:

She was not sure if the tire had been punctured maliciously or not, but she wanted the event documented.

πŸ˜‚

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11 January 2019 - 1:26am
#4

Actually she was upset that the poor guy spent his own money. Better call the police!

Quote:

The woman was upset her 30-year-old son had withdrawn and spent $500 from his savings account.

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11 January 2019 - 2:36pm
#5
CL-Ed wrote:

Actually she was upset that the poor guy spent his own money. Better call the police!

O,obviously I've misread that, thanks Ed.

Ha-ha...I guess it make sense to call the police in that case:)... no.. it still doesn't.. πŸ™‚

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11 January 2019 - 6:00pm
#6

A new batch for you!

7:09 p.m. -- A deputy made contact with a Jerome Township woman in regards to how to evict her son from her house. The deputy answered her questions and she said she would seek eviction from the courts.

9:03 a.m. -- A 59-year-old Lincoln Township business owner reported being concerned about an over-the-road truck driver her company recently hired. She said the driver had contacted the office while on the road the night before and requested $400-$600 for a new GPS, stating that his had broken. The driver was driving a load from Coleman to Attella, Alabama. When he was denied the money he said he was turning around with the load and returning it. He also tendered his resignation. The deputy called the truck driver, a 42-year-old Gladwin man, who confirmed this. He later returned the truck and trailer to the business.

6:19 a.m. -- Deputies were dispatched to a Homer Township roadway area for a report of horses in the road. The owner of the horses, a 66-year-old woman, was contacted and came to the scene and secured the horses.

5:31 p.m. -- A deputy was dispatched to an area in Larkin Township in reference to a loud explosive-like sound. The deputy made contact with a 27-year-old man at his residence who said he had been shooting Tannerite -- a type of explosive target -- which was the source of the sound. The deputy found no illegal activity and the man said he was done shooting for the day.

4:10 p.m. -- A deputy made contact with a 77-year-old woman at her residence in Jasper Township. She said her pets were acting strange, and feels someone had been at her house. The woman found keys belonging to someone else, and a handwritten list of items that belong to her that she doesn't remember writing. She found this suspicious and wanted it to be documented. The woman's residence is well-secured and has video surveillance. No subjects were found on the video and it appeared no one had entered the residence.

9:44 p.m. -- A 59-year-old Ingersoll Township woman was upset and accusing her 30-year-old son and his children of taking her medications. After an extensive search the medications were located and she calmed down.

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11 January 2019 - 7:37pm
#7

Ha-ha..the last two are just classics man πŸ˜‚

I can't believe we didn't read any of these for the past year or so..there's so many intriguing stories there πŸ‘

But horses on the road...that could be quite dangerous I guess.

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14 January 2019 - 11:53pm
#8

These people live so far out that it’s hard to imagine them being a huge nuisance. The Amish driving the horse buggies are WAY more dangerous.

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15 January 2019 - 11:17am
#9

9:44 p.m. -- A 59-year-old Ingersoll Township woman was upset and accusing her 30-year-old son and his children of taking her medications. After an extensive search the medications were located and she calmed down.

That medication must have been the type to calm down anxiety attacks I think lol

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15 January 2019 - 4:25pm
#10

The policemen are doing many small things here and there πŸ™‚

By the thread title, I thought that it was about real crimes πŸ˜€

barbadosslim93 wrote:

1:51 p.m. -- A deputy was dispatched to an Ingersoll Township residence to speak with a 59-year-old woman regarding a civil complaint. The woman was upset her 30-year-old son had withdrawn and spent $500 from his savings account. The 59-year-old said he was acting irresponsibly. The deputy informed the woman that this was not a crime.

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15 January 2019 - 6:14pm
#11

Only got one for you today, but it's a doozy!

7:36 p.m. -- A deputy was dispatched to a Homer Township location for a report of cow manure in the roadway, making motorists' vehicles stink when they drive over it. The deputy searched the roadways in the area, but was not able to locate any manure.

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18 January 2019 - 8:00am
#12

Maybe he should be checking car tyres instead!

I hope these police are highly paid.

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18 January 2019 - 1:51pm
#13
WaroftheGods wrote:

That medication must have been the type to calm down anxiety attacks I think lol

You might be a lot closer to the truth then you might think man πŸ˜‰

CL-Ed wrote:

Maybe he should be checking car tyres instead!

I hope these police are highly paid.

Ha-ha...exactly...you don't need to be Sherlock Holmes for that...well I guess the road has been cleaned up one way or another...

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18 January 2019 - 5:05pm
#14

2:56 p.m. -- A deputy was dispatched to a Lee Township residence in reference to a harassment complaint. A 39-year-old Lee Township woman and a 35-year-old Lee Township woman both reported being harassed by each other through text messages. Both women were advised to block each other's numbers, and to leave each other alone.

1:15 p.m. -- A 54-year-old Edenville Township woman reported that her grandson, 16, was not following rules and was acting out. Deputies contacted the boy and mediated a resolution between the two. All parties involved were calm when the deputies arrived.

10:31 p.m. -- A 48-year-old Homer Township woman had questions about how to get her 26-year-old son out of her house. She told she could file for an eviction. The 26-year-old arrived home and the two were told to stay in their respective rooms if they could not get along.

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21 January 2019 - 4:17pm
#15

Hahaha, Barbadosslim93,

Are this news published in a local newspaper or something for fun?
When it comes down to township level, I think that they would know who's who in the news texts πŸ˜€
Maybe not directly, but like a neighbor of a friend πŸ™‚

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21 January 2019 - 6:43pm
#16
barbadosslim93 wrote:

2:56 p.m. -- A deputy was dispatched to a Lee Township residence in reference to a harassment complaint. A 39-year-old Lee Township woman and a 35-year-old Lee Township woman both reported being harassed by each other through text messages. Both women were advised to block each other's numbers, and to leave each other alone.

1:15 p.m. -- A 54-year-old Edenville Township woman reported that her grandson, 16, was not following rules and was acting out. Deputies contacted the boy and mediated a resolution between the two. All parties involved were calm when the deputies arrived.

10:31 p.m. -- A 48-year-old Homer Township woman had questions about how to get her 26-year-old son out of her house. She told she could file for an eviction. The 26-year-old arrived home and the two were told to stay in their respective rooms if they could not get along.

The all three are just classics πŸ˜€ ...I wonder if sometimes these cops have a real police work to do for a change...or that's most of their duties...anyway hilarious!

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21 January 2019 - 9:33pm
#17

Hahaha keep them coming lol, for the police to be so available as to check on complaints of

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21 January 2019 - 10:35pm
#18
coolsongss wrote:

Hahaha, Barbadosslim93,

Are this news published in a local newspaper or something for fun?
When it comes down to township level, I think that they would know who's who in the news texts πŸ˜€
Maybe not directly, but like a neighbor of a friend πŸ™‚

Yeah, these are published by our local paper. Someone is hired to go through the police blotter and transcribe them all.

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24 January 2019 - 7:49am
#19

My last message was cut in half and didn't get posted for some reason, it mentioned that the people in the areas mentioned should feel lucky they have these types of issues instead of what could be so much worse. Sounds almost like heaven on earth with the magnitude of crimes such as a cow poo stinking up cars and a son not saving his money properly lol

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24 January 2019 - 5:40pm
#20

The news read very funny and tedious to us, but probably, they were pretty serious with the issues at the moment so that they called police πŸ™‚

Yeah, you got the point. It is lucky not to have serious crimes.
If something bad happens in neighborhood, it will affect many people indirectly.

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24 January 2019 - 6:39pm
#21
WaroftheGods wrote:

My last message was cut in half and didn't get posted for some reason, it mentioned that the people in the areas mentioned should feel lucky they have these types of issues instead of what could be so much worse. Sounds almost like heaven on earth with the magnitude of crimes such as a cow poo stinking up cars and a son not saving his money properly lol

Yeah...a really good point there mate πŸ‘

But what happened to the missing half of your post man ..should we have to call the police for that!?! 😜 LoL

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25 January 2019 - 1:02am
#22

Hahah yeah next week in slim's town...

A Canadian visitor reported half his post to a website went missing. Deputies were unable to find the missing words and advised the man to post it again.

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25 January 2019 - 7:13pm
#23
CL-Ed wrote:

Hahah yeah next week in slim's town...

A Canadian visitor reported half his post to a website went missing. Deputies were unable to find the missing words and advised the man to post it again.

LoL..but what if the guy can't remember anything of that!?!

You know the first 48 hours are crucial for the investigation Ed, I guess it's too late 😨 πŸ˜‰

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25 January 2019 - 7:56pm
#24

10:39 p.m. - A deputy issued a deer permit to a 60-year-old man in Homer Township.

This one rings close to home, as today I was coming back from a doctor appointment and had a deer run full speed in front of my car. I was maybe three feet from schmucking the thing and needing to get a permit to harvest some venison.

8:28 a.m. - A 56-year-old man in Edenville Township reported hearing voices around his house and having hallucinations. He admitted to using illegal drugs recently and was transported for a mental health evaluation.

4:04 a.m. - A deputy checked a Coleman neighborhood for a report of a male yelling and did not hear anyone yelling.

8:40 p.m. -- Deputies were dispatched to a Jerome Township residence in reference to a 54-year-old Jerome Township woman requesting assistance with her dog, which was stuck on the roof of her residence. The dog was safely removed.

12:38 a.m. -- A deputy was dispatched to a MillsTownship residence in reference to a 35-year-old man who stated he found some unusual marks in his drywall. The man said it appeared the damage was from a coin being thrown at his wall. He said he does not think someone broke into his home, but wanted to report the incident due to it being unusual. The 16-year-old girl also living in the residence said she does not know what the marks are from.

3:09 a.m. -- A 38-year-old Larkin Township woman reported someone banging on her front door. Deputies did not locate any footprints in the fresh snow, but did find bird feeders hitting a post on the porch, which the woman believed was likely the source of the sound.

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27 January 2019 - 11:04pm
#25

Oh no guys, we've got another "unusual marks on the drywall" case. Call in Sherlock Holmes.

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27 January 2019 - 11:17pm
#26

I’m waiting for unusual marks in the underwear.

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28 January 2019 - 7:32am
#27
sharpe wrote:

Yeah...a really good point there mate πŸ‘

But what happened to the missing half of your post man ..should we have to call the police for that!?! 😜 LoL

Lmao right on sharpe lol maybe we should call them, it seems like they're veterans by now in this sort of thing, I bet they make short work of that one haha

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28 January 2019 - 8:43pm
#28
barbadosslim93 wrote:

10:39 p.m. - A deputy issued a deer permit to a 60-year-old man in Homer Township.

This one rings close to home, as today I was coming back from a doctor appointment and had a deer run full speed in front of my car. I was maybe three feet from schmucking the thing and needing to get a permit to harvest some venison.

Ha-ha..so no deer meat at your table tonight Slim?

That bureaucracy could spoil a man's dinner these days...even if he legally hunted that through a car "accident" πŸ˜‰

barbadosslim93 wrote:

8:28 a.m. - A 56-year-old man in Edenville Township reported hearing voices around his house and having hallucinations. He admitted to using illegal drugs recently and was transported for a mental health evaluation.

LoL, I would of heard voices in that scenario as well...probably I need the same evaluation as the guy there anyway πŸ˜•

barbadosslim93 wrote:

4:04 a.m. - A deputy checked a Coleman neighborhood for a report of a male yelling and did not hear anyone yelling.

Wow, if that's not a mystery I don't know what would be...O,I revealed that ...the guy had probably lost his voice...since the deputy arrival.

barbadosslim93 wrote:

8:40 p.m. -- Deputies were dispatched to a Jerome Township residence in reference to a 54-year-old Jerome Township woman requesting assistance with her dog, which was stuck on the roof of her residence. The dog was safely removed.

Thanks god, are they sure that wasn't a cat? That's usually a cat's business.

barbadosslim93 wrote:

12:38 a.m. -- A deputy was dispatched to a MillsTownship residence in reference to a 35-year-old man who stated he found some unusual marks in his drywall. The man said it appeared the damage was from a coin being thrown at his wall. He said he does not think someone broke into his home, but wanted to report the incident due to it being unusual. The 16-year-old girl also living in the residence said she does not know what the marks are from

O,...I'm sure she knows something, ready to stake huge at that.. πŸ˜‰

barbadosslim93 wrote:

3:09 a.m. -- A 38-year-old Larkin Township woman reported someone banging on her front door. Deputies did not locate any footprints in the fresh snow, but did find bird feeders hitting a post on the porch, which the woman believed was likely the source of the sound.

No comment.

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28 January 2019 - 9:04pm
#29
CL-Ed wrote:

Oh no guys, we've got another "unusual marks on the drywall" case. Call in Sherlock Holmes.

I'm sure we''ll need Doctor Watson as well in that πŸ˜‰

WaroftheGods wrote:

Lmao right on sharpe lol maybe we should call them, it seems like they're veterans by now in this sort of thing, I bet they make short work of that one haha

ha-hah..glad you're took it so well man,...I wasn't sure...thought there's might be something really important in your missing report. πŸ˜‰ ..but these guys...they've seen everything..they'll find it...maybe 😜

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28 January 2019 - 9:14pm
#30

By the way...Great job Dustin πŸ‘ , keep us informed mate..Ed should probably raise you for this thread...or at least buy you a deer stake anyway 😜 ..or hunt you one? But I doubt he would find his permit as well...despite that hunting skirt he's got 😜

CL-Ed