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usbarbadosslim93
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13 July 2016 - 3:08pm

Small Town Crime

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Okay guys: I live in a small town (Midland, Michigan, population 40,000 or so) and sometimes I'm shocked by the things that make the crime blotter here. I have opted to post doozies from the local newspaper for you to giggle at, which is in contrast to a lot of the violence and shocking crimes that take place in other cities within a two hour travel time from me (Saginaw, Flint, and Detroit... all of which are very violent).

With that said, here's the highlights from today's paper!

4:12 a.m. - A deputy responded to a Coleman residence for a report of noise outside the house being caused by an unknown source. The deputy determined the large cat on the roof was the likely source of the noise. No one was seen anywhere near the residence.

11:44 a.m. - Someone reported two loose calves on West Midland-Gratiot Co Line Road in Porter Township. The calves were not located. A deputy checked the area for possible owners, but said no one was missing any cows.

11:48 a.m. - A deputy was dispatched to a wandering pig in Lee Township. The pig wasn't aggressive while the deputy was there. The deputy shared statute (433.14a Public nuisance; authority to kill swine running at large;) with the homeowner along with other options.

8:21 a.m. - In Lee Township, a 19-year-old female reported that when she woke up this morning, she noticed that someone had spray painted her trailer house causing $10 damage. She suspected a 20-year-old male. Contact was made with the male who denied it.

4:55 a.m. - Deputies responded to a report of three horses in the roadway in Lincoln Township, but could not locate the horses. While searching, the owner called central dispatch and advised that he found his horses and locked them up.

I'll post more as more crime is reported!

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ushope777
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13 July 2016 - 7:14pm
#1

"No one was missing any cows" - I LOVE it! Smile LMBO!

This reminds me of when I lived in Big Lake, MN (another SMALL town) and was traveling the few miles over a country road to the slightly larger town of Monticello, MN. There was a bull in the road, so we had to turn around and take a detour. lol Oh, for the simpler times where the above crimes are as bad as it gets.

THANK YOU so much for posting this today, as I have been kind of down with Philando Castille's funeral coming up tomorrow at noon and the newspaper cover of the Dallas Police Officers' funeral. I do not want to debate any issues. Just to say I was a little sad today, and this truly cheered me up a bit. Smile

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bgsharpe
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13 July 2016 - 8:37pm
#2

Some nice ones there Smile

Quite surprised to know that repainting a trailer house will cost you just 10$ maybe I should consider buying one myself Cigarette

auCL-Ed
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14 July 2016 - 1:06am
#3

Hahah. What's a poor woman to do with a whole $10 worth of damage being done to her trailer?

And I love the reference to "a wandering pig".

I read the wikipedia article and you're just showing off aren't you? Wink

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- in 2010, was named the no. 4 Best Small City to raise a family in by Forbes magazine.
- Best Tennis Town in America (U.S. Tennis Association, 2009)

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usbarbadosslim93
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26 July 2016 - 4:20pm
#4

We have an update on the crime blotter!

12:42 p.m. — A Jerome Township man, 27, reported his neighbor, age 78, caught his cat in a live trap. The neighbor has set out the trap to catch critters, not cats. The cat was freed and the man was asked to keep his cat on his own property.

8:44 p.m. — A deputy was sent to Homer Township for a report of driver who might have been drunk. The vehicle was stopped in Jerome Township; the driver was not drunk but had been trying to eat a snack.

11:03 a.m. — A deputy was sent to a Midland Township home for a report of fraud involving contact from a foreign computer company offering to remove computer viruses for a $177 payment by credit card.

10:51 a.m. — Air was let out of all four of a vehicle’s tires while it was parked at a Lee Township church.

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auCL-Ed
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27 July 2016 - 2:15am
#5

lol It must be a tough job being in the Midland P.D.

So what exactly is a critter? I thought any animal was.

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usbarbadosslim93
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27 July 2016 - 2:33pm
#6

Yeah, a critter is pretty much any small animal. Apparently a cat isn't a critter according to the newspaper.

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bgsharpe
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27 July 2016 - 8:27pm
#7
barbadosslim93 wrote:

We have an update on the crime blotter!
8:44 p.m. — A deputy was sent to Homer Township for a report of driver who might have been drunk. The vehicle was stopped in Jerome Township; the driver was not drunk but had been trying to eat a snack.

They are all hilarious but that's my favourite, I guess could be really tough to eat a snack sometimes Wink

Thanks for the critter clarification, I was wondering about it too Thumb Up

auCL - klaw
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29 July 2016 - 7:59am
#8

This is nice Slim....it's paints a lovely picture of the States. Much better than what makes the news over here!

Quote:

10:51 a.m. — Air was let out of all four of a vehicle’s tires while it was parked at a Lee Township church.

Although not sure I want to be living in a neighbourhood with the perpetrator of this particular crime. Air let out of all 4 wheels, some serious grudge there! Thumb Down

usbarbadosslim93
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2 August 2016 - 2:38pm
#9
CL - klaw wrote:

This is nice Slim....it's paints a lovely picture of the States. Much better than what makes the news over here!

Although not sure I want to be living in a neighbourhood with the perpetrator of this particular crime. Air let out of all 4 wheels, some serious grudge there! Thumb Down

Haha. Either someone had way too much time on their hands or they found a couple pebbles and stuck them against the air stem!

usbarbadosslim93
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3 August 2016 - 1:13pm
#10

UPDATE: 8:38 a.m. — A witness reported seeing a 47-year-old Midland man littering in Larkin Township. A report is being sent to the prosecutor’s office.

10:16 p.m. — A 27-year-old Porter Township man reported finding a lawn mower that does not belong to him on his property. The lawn mower was found to be stolen. The owner was contacted.

10:52 p.m. — A Lee Township home was broken into, and $1,000 worth of insulation was stolen out of the attic.

In all seriousness though, last night I was taking the trash to the curb and I saw what appeared to be a young couple (18-22) looking into my neighbor's car. I walked up to confront them, but they took off. That's a bit worrying, and now I'm making sure to keep our stuff locked.

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3 August 2016 - 8:59pm
#11

Another portion of hilarious crimes, made me laugh every time Thumb Up

auCL-Ed
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4 August 2016 - 1:49am
#12

Prediction for this week:

9:32am - A local man reported having his debit card number stolen and used to buy cosmetics online. I checked it out but it turns out he's a cross dresser.

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4 August 2016 - 10:26pm
#13
CL-Ed wrote:

Prediction for this week:

9:32am - A local man reported having his debit card number stolen and used to buy cosmetics online. I checked it out but it turns out he's a cross dresser.

Oh Vicious harsh one, maybe the man isn't ready yet to laugh at this story although said it that way it sounds hilarious Joking

usbarbadosslim93
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5 August 2016 - 3:04pm
#14
CL-Ed wrote:

Prediction for this week:

9:32am - A local man reported having his debit card number stolen and used to buy cosmetics online. I checked it out but it turns out he's a cross dresser.

Hilarious Ed... Hilarious. Smile

auCL-Ed
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7 August 2016 - 11:20pm
#15

Hahaha I've been waiting to get you back for the profile picture!

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12 August 2016 - 5:26pm
#16

Guys, it just keeps getting worse!

9:21 p.m. — In Lincoln Township, deputies were sent to US-10 for a report of a cooler in the roadway. A deputy removed the cooler from the road and discarded it.

10:30 p.m. — A Lee Township resident reported two people standing at the end of the driveway. A deputy located subjects, who were neighbors. They were playing Pokemon Go.

11:09 a.m. — In Lee Township, a 26-year-old woman told police she was upset about Facebook posts made by a 38-year-old woman. The posts indicated the 26-year-old woman was “not a good housekeeper.” There were no threats made. The deputy was unable to reach the 38-year-old, and told the complainant to block the suspect from her Facebook.

12:35 p.m. — In Greendale Township, a 26-year-old woman reported her 38-year-old neighbor mowed a strip of grass on her property. The neighbors disagreed on the property line location, but agreed they would have to handle the dispute in civil court.

1:14 p.m. — A 21-year-old Jerome Township man told police his 59-year-old neighbor parked a small empty boat trailer on the property line. The woman moved the trailer one foot so it was no longer on the property line.

It's seriously funny to see how petty and stupid some people are, but it also bugs me that police are being called for such stupid stuff.

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12 August 2016 - 9:19pm
#17
barbadosslim93 wrote:

Guys, it just keeps getting worse!

It's seriously funny to see how petty and stupid some people are, but it also bugs me that police are being called for such stupid stuff.

Yes really mate, don't want to be in the shoes of some of these deputies Smile

auCL-Ed
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15 August 2016 - 4:39am
#18

Geez how quick are people to call the police where you live? Boo hoo someone said something about me on Facebook... call the police!

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24 September 2016 - 6:51pm
#19

Oh boy...

5:02 p.m. — Deputies were sent to Jerome Township for a report of a suspicious person directing traffic. The person was found to be directing traffic for a high school fundraising car wash. One of the deputies got his car washed.

auCL-Ed
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26 September 2016 - 5:22am
#20

Come on they are having a laugh now aren't they. I reckon whoever writes that up gets as much fun out of it as we do!

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deSimon_whistler
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23 October 2016 - 6:01pm
#21

Any recent news? It's really funny.

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usbarbadosslim93
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24 October 2016 - 3:49pm
#22

Funny you ask! I have the following bits of crime for you to take in:

3:01 p.m. — A deputy was called to a Jerome Township school after a person was seen placing compact discs on cars. The man, age 26, said he just wanted people to hear the music he produced. The man was told to get permission before placing items on cars.

7:43 p.m. — A deputy was called to a Lee Township home for a report of a basketball hitting a home several times. The deputy spoke with a boy, 15, about not hitting the house.

12:19 a.m. — A Lee Township woman, 20, reported her mother gave away her cat without her permission. The deputy and woman retrieved the cat from the man who had received the animal.

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auCL-Ed
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24 October 2016 - 11:51pm
#23

And yet again I am amazed at the petty things that people will call the police about. The police on the phone need to tell some of these people to act like adults and sort out their own minor problems.

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27 October 2016 - 11:23pm
#24

It's maybe sometimes annoying for the local Police but most of the time have been hilarious for us Ed, thanks to Dustin Thumb Up If I was a policeman I would prefer one of this probably instead of being called because of murder or something but I understand what you meant Ed Thumb Up

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auCL-Ed
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27 October 2016 - 11:29pm
#25

It reminds me of an ad we used to have on TV here that was telling people not to call 000 (our emergency number like 911) unless it was a proper emergency. And they were playing recordings of real people who had rung them, tied up the phone lines, and wasted the operator's time with trivial stuff. The one that stuck with me was this old lady asking for help with a recipe because her family was coming over soon and she wasn't going to have dinner ready so it was an emergency!

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28 October 2016 - 12:21am
#26

lol Ha-ha, I don't know but it sounds like an emergency to me, don't want ever to be in that situation!

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deSimon_whistler
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29 October 2016 - 12:03pm
#27

You know, your "police reports" really make my day (and probably not only mine). I would prefer reading your news than watching TV or reading newspapers. So please post more if you can:)

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uslpangborn76
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31 October 2016 - 6:43am
#28

how do you post a comment right on the blog your replying to like i see here?

usbarbadosslim93
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31 October 2016 - 1:11pm
#29

2:55 p.m. — A 52-year-old man reported his roommate, age 78, had an unlicensed furnace repairman at their Warren Township home. The caller was advised to contact his township supervisor.

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auCL - klaw
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31 October 2016 - 10:51pm
#30

Oh bless....that's one way to keep excitement in your life when you're older Smile

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