I Really Hate Slot Machines

As a man I fully admit to being drawn to things that look good. Cold beer, hot women and bright flashy things draw my attention in very quickly. I can be in mid sentence and if one of those three things crosses my vision, my attention span is broken and I often forget just what the heck I was talking about. Following this logic you would likely assume that I love slot machines.

This could not be further from the truth.

In reality I absolutely despise slot machines. Sure, some have really cool graphics and they seem to draw me in initially. Yet when I actually sit down and try to give my full attention to the game with the animated characters and the noisy "clang, clang, clang" of the winning spins I get frustrated very quickly.

I believe part of my frustration lies in that I have no real part in whether or not my machine wins or loses. A game with no strategy really has no appeal to me, as I frequently believe myself to be among the most unlucky people on Earth. You can call me a hypocrite because I play the lottery or keno once in a while but for some reason I still prefer these to slot machines.


Another reason I hate slot machines is because of those graphics I was speaking of earlier. Like I said, some have GREAT graphics, but a lot are just generic crap that I could throw together looking at a bowl of Alphabet Cereal or Lucky Charms. I get it, Aces and Kings are popular in gambling culture because they are in a deck of cards, but do I really need to see them in 90 percent of the freaking slot machines I come upon? Why not throw something cool in instead of the Ace A like a cougar with boxing gloves or even a car wheel that spins? It could be something completely stupid and it would hold up better than that stuff.

The third reason I really hate slot machines is the amount of money it costs to play them. It is absurd to think that I could spend 5 dollars per spin on a nickel machine. I was recently at a casino and played a penny machine figuring it would be a decent way to kill a half hour while I waited for the casino buffet to open. I found myself throwing money into the machine like mad. My money was being burnt up faster than any casino game I had ever played and I was none too happy with the end result. And the graphics looked like something from early 1990's Sega CD!

Now I wouldn't say that I am 100 percent against slots. I don't mind playing them when I have a free tournament through a casino. However, I don't actually play these machines as much as I set them on auto play and go do something else while they run their course. I simply can't be bothered to spend my my time watching these mindless things go on and on for hours on end. It is much better for me to spend my time watching Maury and see people argue over who the baby daddy is. When it isn't my money and I do not have to be present I actually don't mind slots that much!

In conclusion, I feel that there are WAY better games to play at casinos than slot machines. They simply aren't entertaining graphically and they do not challenge me to use my brain at all. But I am only one man, and slot machines are extraordinarily profitable for casinos, which means that a lot of people do play them.

I want your opinion: Do you play slot machines? What do you think of them?


7 replies • Last post


CL-Ed's picture
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19 May 2011 - 2:12am

I could answer both yes and no to this question. By that I mean I do play them for several reasons - to test out casinos for this site, in tournaments, or low wagering requirement bonuses where it is required and I have an edge (i.e. the valuable ones that are too good to pass up!). But if its just me and my money and no bonus or incentive to do it, not often.

I grew up playing video games, so like you I value some control or input into the outcome of the game. I love blackjack and I enjoy other games like video poker, or pai gow, or high-low, and non-house games like poker, hell any game where I have some control over whether I win or lose. That's the main reason I don't generally play slots. I see them as equivalent to buying a lottery ticket on every spin which just isn't my thing.

I agree about the Ace / King / Queen symbols to some extent, although I admire the talent and artwork that goes into making some of these slots (especially the new ones) look fantastic. After all, they are dressing up a lottery spin, and it has to be a difficult job to keep coming up with new ideas. From a maths point of view too, some are amazing. For example the new Net Entertainment games we posted the other day have this avalanche feature that must have been a nightmare to develop - in it a winning line collapses, new symbols take its place and you can win again and again.

So I guess I don't hate em, but I don't love em either!

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Chelsea's picture
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19 May 2011 - 6:19am

Absolutely I love slots (or fruit machines as we call them). Yes it might be a lottery spin each time but its more interesting than that. For example there is the the suspense waiting for that fifth reel when your first 3 or 4 reels show something good. I don't mind the AKQJ symbols because they are an easy way to tell at a glance which symbols are the most valuable. Otherwise you have to look through the paytable wondering if the cougar with boxing gloves is worth more than the spinning car wheel!

Variety is the spice of life - there are plenty of machines without those symbols anyway. Also the different types of features like free spins or expanding wilds, respins etc make it so that some of the games are very different to one another.

Also I don't WANT to have to remember the correct play for every card I am dealt in blackjack or whatnot. I like something simple and easy to play and hopefully win!

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barbadosslim93's picture
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19 May 2011 - 10:49pm

Ed, those Net Entertainment slots sound interesting. I will give them a try sometime to see if I like them. I would say that there are some slots out there that are better than others, but it really has to do something to impress me to get me to play. That or be a free tournament.

Chelsea, I believe the ranking system is Jack, Queen, King, Ace, Cougar with boxing gloves. He is like supreme emperor of everything. Think of it like Rock, Paper, Scissors, Cougar with boxing gloves. He simply beats everything!

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19 May 2011 - 11:13pm

i am with you Chelsea! pokies/slots for life!!

i love the themes they come up with and i love seeing the bonus rounds and special features. and its nice to win sometimes too of course!

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Chelsea's picture
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20 May 2011 - 9:24am
barbadosslim93 wrote:

Chelsea, I believe the ranking system is Jack, Queen, King, Ace, Cougar with boxing gloves. He is like supreme emperor of everything. Think of it like Rock, Paper, Scissors, Cougar with boxing gloves. He simply beats everything!

Ha! I'll have to look out for your boxing cougar slot, played at your ultimate casino you described in your other blog of course!


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26 May 2011 - 6:50am

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with slots. I hate playing them but I love the bonuses you can get if you play them and I dont mind the odd slots tournament either


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hope777's picture
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18 January 2012 - 7:18pm

Unfortunately, I love the slot machines, even though I am not very "lucky." I find it relaxing for some strange reason. I do wish all slots would loosen up a bit, though, lol. They have REALLY tightened them up at the land casinos, it seems. 🙁


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